Monday, April 14, 2014

I Found Her

After 3 weeks of sorting, packing, donating, cleaning, moving, unpacking, more sorting, more donating, arranging, more cleaning and decorating - we are finally all settled in our new place!!  And I love it!!  It was hard work and so worth it!  The kids are happy, I am happy and for the first time in a long time, my soul feels nourished everyday - this was so needed!  I am grateful beyond words to be living in this little haven.  The pool fountains run everyday from 5pm to 9pm and its amazing, I keep the front door open so I can hear them, its sounds like peace.  Its so quite and still in the mornings, I sit on my porch and drink coffee and read before I start my day.  It has taken almost 2 years to reclaim peace to my heart and to find myself again.  I am seeing more than glimpses of who I really am.  I see her in the mirror when I curl my hair.  I hear her when I talk to my kids and friends.  I feel her living and doing what God has laid on her heart.  I smile more, I have more patience and I have so much understanding.  I have walked through some yucky waters and it was so difficult coming out of it and seeing and feeling how awful it was.  I see how important it is to give ourselves permission to heal and take the time we need.  I think back to other circumstances and situations I went through and how I never fully healed from them - there wasn't understanding that I needed to.  I am fully seeing how vital it is to be loved well.  Its difficult to grow and be nourished if we aren't loved well, at all ages.  I am focusing on mothering this way - loving them well and really seeing what they need, finding the mother in me that they need me to be, that He made me to be. 


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Getting Settled {home sweet home}

We are just about all settled into our new place!  I think I am about 70% done – still have several boxes to unpack, a few cabinets to organize, some decorating/picture hanging to do and I need to downsize my storage (hopefully to no storage unit at all).
I spent the last five days, packing, moving, unpacking, making trips to Target, breaking down boxes, filling up trash bags and so on!  My niece, Maggie, came on Friday and stayed until Sunday.  She was a huge help!  We got a lot moved from my mom's house before the kids got out of school and then my nephew, Randy, came with his truck and we were able to move the several pieces of furniture we had at my mom's house to our new house! 
Saturday was the BIG moving day!  I rented a 14" U-Haul and drove it myself – thank you very much! 
Except when it was FULL of our stuff from storage, our sweet friend Bob drove it for me!  Saturday was amazing – we were so blessed to have so much help!!  Bob, Mike, John, Steve, Mikey, Noah, Joelle and Travis and I all headed to storage at about 10:30 – we were back and unloaded by 12:15.  It went so quick!  Grateful for our church family who rallied around us to get the task done – and it was fun too!  We were moving so quickly that I just didn't take time to take pictures of the crew!

I spent the rest of Saturday wading through boxes and cleaning and organizing.  My friend Jodi went to the house while we were still at storage and cleaned the bathroom!  She helped me so much that day: set up the TV and DVD player, helped me move furniture around, broke down boxes as I unpacked them and would swoop in and take trash bags to the dumpster!  She even made my bed and I was so grateful at 11:30 when I fell into it!
The next morning I managed to get ready and go to church – my legs and feet were a bit achy but it was good to go and worship – I was honestly so full of thankfulness I wanted to give it back! 
I spent the rest of Sunday and Monday working away at all the little and big things that need to be done, including making a couple Goodwill donation runs!  It feels SO good to get rid of things and put the past truly in the past!  I am glad it has been 2 years since I have seen my "stuff." It really was easy to make decisions and not get emotional and/or sentimental.  There was no regret about the past or the hard decisions I made.  I am happy!  Setting up this little home is being SO wonderful – a deeper peace is being brought to my heart and so much joy too!

My sister, Laurie, is coming this weekend to help me fine tune and measure for curtains!!  And then I think I will be all done with the house set-up. Here are some of the rooms so far:


Thursday, March 27, 2014

Moving to our new place

This is my new front door!!!!  Its the sweetest place.  I will be surrounded by dear friends in our wonderful community!  The kids will be able to walk to school, through one yard and into the school parking lot.  I feel so blessed - we are so excited!!  I worked alot last weekend getting things cleaned and some of our stuff moved in from storage. 

This weekend will be the BIG move! Family and friends are helping and I am just going to take it all in. I don't want to be overwhelmed and in a hurry. I want things to go smooth and quickly as possible and I want to savor the delight and excitement we all have in this new change!

I am so excited to share my home - to set it up and truly be at peace.  I am thrilled my kids will see me at peace in our home.  I have some fun projects planned and changes I want to make to the furnishings I already have!  I eagerly await the conversations we will have around the dinner table, open and honest in ways we weren't free to before.  I am thankful beyond words for this - for all of it!  Blessed and loved - forever humbled by His grace!

This is my view from my little porch!

Monday, March 3, 2014


An answer to many prayers, God's grace, a huge blessing and much love and generosity! I just wanted to put it in writing -- the kids and I are moving - we have our own place!!  I am overwhelmed and humbled and so excited!  It came when I very least expected it - it will be wonderful to set up my home, nestled in our wonderful neighborhood in a cozy little house!!

I will follow-up with pictures soon!!

Friends, I am so excited!!!!  And so very very grateful!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

In the quiet moments {2 years}


In the quiet moments I feel it the most, the peace, the reality and the sadness and the uncertainty too that can let fear in. It's in those same quiet moments I also feel loved, reassured and the joy I choose every day.  It's in those moments I seek Him and feel the most gratitude. I feel the magnitude of raising these kids. I alone am their constant parent and responsible for them 24/7 and in all these moments I am reminded that I am not alone.
It's in these same moments I desperately want things to change and yet if they stay the same I know it will be ok – right?  It's in those moments I cry for something different, a 180 from what I have known.  I want to be brave, a little reckless and completely careful too.  I want to be different; I don’t want the past to haunt me nor regret it or wish it was different because these quiet moments tell me I am different; they tell me all is not lost.  They tell me the years will be restored.  It's in the quiet moments that I lean into trust Him. I am reminded of His promises and I believe in them.
 It's been 2 years since I left my unhealthy marriage.  It's been difficult to settle the dust, to let go of guilt and to forgive (I am still working on that).  It's been freeing beyond words to discover who I am again and let go of the lies I was told about myself.  I don’t feel the weight and struggle anymore.  I feel the joy in the change and excitement for the next steps. 

"Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."
Philippians 4:6 - The Message Bible


Tuesday, February 18, 2014

46 things I have learned {continued}

This is the rest of my list of 46 things I have learned or come to realize and/or believe to be true for me in my life (1-10 are listed here at the end of the post):

I have learned that,

11.  a sense of humor is a must in any relationship.
12.  the beach is practically the best place to go - anytime!
13.  sometimes, you just need to listen - its important to be a good listener and hear what people are saying to you.
14.  its ok to cry at whatever moves you to tears.
15.  trying to be perfect is a waste of time.
16.  shopping with my daughter is a delightful way to spend the day.
17.  learning to love yourself for who you are is so important.
18.  its important to have compassion.
19.  its good to spend a day being good to yourself.
20.  trusting God with your life is the best way to truly feel secure.
21.  prayer works and God is faithful.
22.  its important to pray for ears to hear - otherwise you might miss what He says to you.
23.  human behaviour is fascinating!
24.  having an older sister is an amazing blessing.
25.  being an aunt is a wonderful relationship.
26.  saying the hard things sometimes brings the most peace.
27.  you don't always have to be nice to be a good mom.
28.  its ok if your kids are not "happy" all the time.
29.  its important to embrace and savor the "seasons" of your life.
30.  worrying and fretting is simply a waste of time.
31.  gratitude - gratitude, gratitude - is a must in life!
32.  the best way to love some well, is to know what they need, is to accept them as they are and love them.
33.  sometimes the best way to help someone is by not helping them.
34.  taking accountability is very important.
35.  you should never try and talk someone out of how they feel.
36.  doing something for someone else, is a great way to take your mind of yourself/problems
37.  letting a friend help you, is a blessing that goes both ways
38.  it really is the little things that you remember and treasure the most
39.  when you screw up, allow yourself 10 or 15 minutes of feeling bad and then move on and forgive yourself
40.  expecting others to be perfect is unfair.
41.  asking for help can be so hard, but is so necessary at times
42.  moms cooking always tastes better than yours
43.  I can't let obligations run my life
44.  my kids are alot wiser than I realize
45.   worshiping is one of the best way to feel at peace.
46.  i believe in His word, His grace and His mercy

This life I have been given is a gift and I want to do my absolute best to live my best life - I am going to keep trusting and hoping and loving it for at least another 46 years!

Friday, February 14, 2014

My 46th Birthday

Hello and Happy Friday!!!  Sending love to my sweet friends who read here, those I know about and those I don't (((((hugs)))))!!

My birthday was over 2 weeks ago but I want to be sure and write about it because honestly it was one of the best birthdays I have had in a long time.  It was very relaxing and I felt so very loved and blessed!

My day started off with my sweet friend, Cindy, bringing me a cafe mocha and taking the kids to school!

I had planned to spend my day reading and soaking up the warm sunshine at my dear friend Paula's house - until she asked if I could be at her house by 9am, dressed comfortably and no make-up!  Hmmm, I thought!  When I got there, she had a surprise for me!!  An hour and half massage!!  It was heavenly and so relaxing!! 
After the massage, I relaxed in the pool-house, had some coffee and a cinnamon roll, read, wrote in my journal and took a nap!!

Then my sweet friend Cindy invited me and the kids over for dinner.  I thought it was just going to be us and her family  - but she surprised me and invited several other of my dear sweet wonderful friends!  Each time the doorbell rang I was delighted and surprised by who was there!  We had a yummy dinner, good drinks and delicious red velvet brownies for dessert!  I was overwhelmed in such a good way.  So blessed by everyone who loved and blessed me on my birthday and reminded me how important I am, that I am loved and worthy and that I belong to this amazing family God has placed me in!!  I am blessed and loved; forever humbled by His grace!!
I started writing out my "46 Things I have Learned" and didn't quite finish, but I will and I will leave you with  the first 10 things and finish the list next week.
This is the beginning of a list of 46 things I have learned or come to realize and/or believe to be true for me in my life:
1.  Having a family that you love and like is truly a blessing.
2.  Being loved well is extremely important for your soul.
3.  Having hope for things is pretty easy - its the faith part that can be tricky.
4.  Its important to say yes to things, unless its dangerous or illegal.
5.  Its important to give, of course, but its equally important to receive.
6.  Being kind is one of the best qualities you can attain to.
7.  It is so important to always, always - always give the benefit of the doubt!
8.  So far, being a mom is the best part of my life.
9.  Choosing to walk with God has been the best decision I have ever made!
10.  The hard, really hard things in life, really have made me stronger.
---to be continued!
Happy Valentine's Day!